In the last two days, I received two job offers. Both positions would put me in an environment that would coincide with my personality better. I would have more fun. I would be more relaxed. I would feel more at home. With that said, however, I will not consider either. They are not for me.
The funny thing is that I would rock at either job. I know, that sounds a bit arrogant, but it is the truth. It is work I know how to do. I know the people involved and the systems in place. Both jobs would require me to do work similar to my previous job.
The thing is though that I left my last position for a reason. I was done with it. I did not receive the level of support I needed. I had tasks dumped on me that were not mine. I had too much liability. I was burned out and bitter with the system. I am trying — very hard, in fact — to move on from that place. I was not the person that I want to be. I do not want to return there.
My response to both job offers was a little less than professional. In my mind I thought, “Are you f-in' kidding me”. Instead, I just laughed and said, “Doesn’t sound like it is for me, but I’ll let you know if I think of anyone who would be a good fit”.
The thing is that I am not sure of who I am or what I want to be doing with my time. I think floating between similar positions will not improve the quality of my life or my perspective. I fear that I will become stuck in an endless cycle of searching for meaning. Although I know I would love the nostalgia of returning to my roots – it would only be a temporary solution. I would eventually become discontent again only to be working more difficult hours, etc.
I will admit, however, that even though I will not consider the other positions, it is nice to know that someone thought of me. It is nice to know that I am considered to be capable of taking on new challenges. It is nice to know that some people think that I am competent and desire me in certain positions. It is nice to know that even though I see my weaknesses others continue to see someone worth recruiting.
2 comments:
I don't know how your old stomping ground can function with out you! If I was your boss, I would have done everything I could to keep you around. I am glad you are trying to grow and move on. Oh, and you can rock at any job you take on!
And Baby Makes 3~ Thanks for the nice comment. To be honest, I don't think that anyone there has noticed my departure. First, I am still there way too much for them to actually miss me and second, I talk to everyone there all of the time. If anything, they probably get more done without me there to talk their ears off, etc. As for my boss, well-- she wasn't that smart. Alas, she will find someone who matches her needs a bit better, as will I. :)
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