V

My nephew, V, stayed with us for 10 days. He is two. He adores me. The feeling is mutual. I find him to be a very charming, intelligent, and compassionate young boy. I enjoy spending time with him - baking, going to the coffee shop, painting, and playing cars. Now that he is gone, I miss the pitter patter of his footsteps running across our wood floors. I know that I will not see him for quite awhile. This knowledge saddens me.

J made an observation while V was here. He said that I seemed more content, less stressed, and truly happy in V's presence. In fact, J made several comments regarding his observations throughout the week. Reflecting on the past several days, I suspect J is correct. Given the circumstances of our life recently, I was pretty calm just hanging out with V. I was able to ignore tragedy and responsibility while focusing on playing, learning, and embracing the moment (afterall, two year-olds are not capable of much more). This, to me, seems more like how life should be.

Tomorrow marks the first day of what is likely to be a very difficult 8 weeks for me. I will have more classes than any one instructor should have as I take on a colleague's classes while she is on maternity leave. This, coupled with my normal work responsibilities and holiday chaos, seems like too much. Yet, I will have to deal. In fact, I need to do a bit more. I am to write a course for a local university that needs to be phenomenal. It may be the last time I am offered a course with that institution. I need to prove my capabilities and talent to the Dean. I will do well. I will work my ass of on the project. She will give me more courses. Outside of professional responsibilities, I want to be a good friend, good family member, etc. I want to support J as he deals with his first holidays without his mother. I want to help his father as he adjusts to a different life than the one he knew before. It is likely to be busy.

My goal for the next several weeks, despite the numerous obligations I must adhere to, is to remember to have fun. I will think of V often. I will consider his ability to calm me. I will think about learning, laughing, and fun.