Annoy

I am one of the more laid back instructors in my department. I do not care if people eat in my class. I am fine being interrupted by students whom have questions. I do not even really care when people are late. With this, I am pretty cognizant of the fact that it is hard to jump right into class material from a student's perspective -- especially after a long holiday weekend. Heck, I need to ease into it too. It is for this reason that I set aside a few minutes at the beginning of class each day to ask everyone how they are doing, etc.

Today was no different. I asked my students how they were and if they enjoyed their weekends. I got a mixture of enthusiastic responses coupled with the 'why in the heck are you asking us' grumbles. One girl in the second row took the opportunity to tell the class about a party she had on Friday night while her parents were away. She woke-up the next morning to find her house trashed and pizza everywhere. She got it cleaned up before her parents came back and did not get caught. The boy sitting next to her reported that the incident was very 'cliche'.

It is my expectation that once the small talk is over, class begins. Everyone may resume their texting, flirting, and usual bs at the end of the hour. Usually, my students seem to understand this concept as well.

After the morning greeting, I began lecturing. I got about four sentences into my lecture before several little conversations sprouted up across the classroom. I stopped and glared. A few of the smarter students noticed. The men in the back row smiled at me nervously. I said, "Let me know when you're ready for me to begin. It is your tuition". The class fell silent and I began my lecture a second time. Moments later, it happened again. Conversations seemed to erupt everywhere. I once again stopped, looked at the ceiling and locked my jaw. Irritation came over me. This same thing happened several times last week.

Due to the fact that I am generally laid back (in the class, at least) and because I am significantly younger than the average instructor, students do not expect me to lash out. Honestly, I rarely do. Today, however, I could not handle it. I was not patient. I was annoyed. I give up my lunch break to hang out with these kids. LUNCH!!
I do not give points for participation. Therefore, I am unable to punish people for talking in class. Today, in a moment of desperation, I retreated to my grade school years instead.

I ordered my students to stand up (not that out of the ordinary in my class). I told them to leave their belongings and to walk outside of the classroom. I followed them to the door. At the doorway, they looked at me with anticipation. What cool activity would we do now? What was next in this crazy class? A few of my students even smiled in excitement.

Then, I said it. I said, "This is the hallway. When you enter this doorway, you'll be in a psychology classroom. When you're ready to learn a little about psychology, please come back in, but do not enter this door until you're ready to learn" and then I walked away. A few of them seemed amused, a few confused, a few even a little flabbergasted. I think I saw some pride in a few of the more mature students' eyes too.

It was lame. I do not teach kindergarten. With that said, I made my point.

Tomorrow, I will not face the same challenge. I decided I am sick of the struggle each day. Instead of my standard lecture on the concept of intelligence (which is fascinating, by the way), students will read peer-reviewed journal articles (the boring type) and will be required to report to the class on the same.

Because I am mean.

Today's [revised] lesson: Care about your education and do NOT annoy the teacher.