Comfortable

Once upon a time, I pondered regarding whether or not I would ever be able to drive across the city without looking for people I might know; if I would be able to resist the urge to outreach; if I could let my old world go. It is true that I have different boundaries than I once did. My position in this world, as well as my obligations, has changed. Yet, at the core, I am still the same person. There are some habits (like searching the streets) that I cannot seem to let go. Perhaps I choose not to let them go.

As I drove between class and work the other day, I scanned the world as I often do. Why does the person in the car next to me look so sad? Does the person getting onto the bus realize his sunglasses look ridiculous on him? Does the woman whom is waiting to cross the street with her three children ever really get a chance to rest? ...And so the inner dialogue of my mind continues...One person, however, caught my attention for more than a mere moment. He was a man that I knew several years ago. Although I never had him on my caseload, he was well known to me. He is a sweet older man plagued with auditory and visual hallucinations that terrify him. On more than one occasion, this man tugged on my heartstrings. He appears helpless – in many ways, much like a child. He dresses funny, does not remember to eat, does not understand ‘No’ when he is told the same and will persist and re-ask a question until he receives the response he desires. I could tell some incredible stories about this man and his behaviors, which provide incredible insight into his world, but I choose not to at this time. Just take my word for it -- he is incredible.

For whatever reason, I pulled over. The man did not look quite right to me. He looked tired. He looked haggard. I approached him and greeted him by name. I could tell that he recognized me, but could not place me. This was not unexpected, as I change my hair often and was outside of the environment in which he was used to seeing me. The man returned my greeting, but would not maintain eye contact with me. I commented that it had been a long time since I saw him. I indicated I was happy to see him again. I then expressed concern regarding the fact that the man looked fatigued. I asked him if he had slept and when he ate last. As it turned out, the man was, in fact, hungry. I grabbed some cash out of my ashtray and bought him some lunch. I talked with him some more. After several minutes, I realized that I needed to get back to work. I wished him a good day and left. On my way back to the office, I called an old friend and asked her to follow-up with the man. In the back of my mind, I knew that she would.

I often wonder how many dollars I have spent in similar situations. I wonder how many lunches or dinners I have purchased. I wonder how much I have spent on hygiene products, sleeping bags, and other resources. It would be interesting for me to know, but it also does not matter. The knowledge (or lack thereof) would not alter my past decisions or my behaviors.

I feel that people need to take care of each other. The manner in which people care for each other will vary from person to person. Some will buy another lunch. Some will listen when needed. Some will teach. Some will crochet mittens. Some will crack jokes. In many ways, I suppose it depends on the situation and the available resources. I often become frustrated regarding how selfish we are as a society. Of course, I am not insinuating that I am free of selfishness, but I know that at the end of the day, I can say I tried. I wish everyone could say that. If they could, I suspect our society, our world, would be a lot different.

I recently saw a bumper sticker that read, “Comfort the Disturbed. Disturb the Comforted” – what wisdom! Those who are disturbed, whom are not okay, need help. For others to ignore those ‘disturbed’ individuals, or selectively pay attention to them (because they’re not a part of a particular church, are inconvenient, are of a different political party, etc.) is both irresponsible and ridiculous. Taking care of one another should not be something reserved for a certain time of year, or for when the person doing the caring can classify him or her self as ‘doing pretty well’. The fact is that we are all a bit disturbed. We all need help once in awhile. Furthermore, we owe it to each other.

In the past I’ve heard statements like, “Oh I’d like to help, but I don’t know how to get involved. We don’t have issues like that in my neighborhood”. My internal silent response: ‘Hi. You’re an idiot”. The person that makes statement like this, in my opinion, is too comfortable. Perhaps he or she is oblivious; perhaps he or she is ignorant, perhaps he or she refuses to open his or her eyes because the truth is disappointing. As the bumper sticker indicated, however, those individuals need to be disturbed.

If every person were more aware and more willing to carry out a small act of kindness and compassion once in awhile, the world would be better. The fact is that our world (society) will not be undergoing any major redesign or reconstruction any time soon. Therefore, it is up to each individual, big or small, to make a difference.

What have you done for someone else today?