Care

Over the past few weeks, my body raged against me. It appears that I have developed migraines -- the kind that first impair your vision only to knock you on your ass awhile later. There is some other special stuff going on too, but I'll spare you those details. I thought about going to the doctor, but did not. In the back of my mind, I know that my symptoms -- including the headaches-- are most likely due to not taking care of myself. I've been working too much, not sleeping well, and just neglecting my body. I had this coming. It could even be argued that I deserved this.

I finally realized I was really not okay. I finally figured out that, oh yeah, sleep and food are necessary to sustain life. Who knew? As matter of fact, J took Tuesday off. When he commented that he was happy to have time to take me to the walk-in clinic, it occurred to me that others were on to the fact that I was not feeling well too. Too bad for him I did not have time to join him, as I was due in class. J's concern alarmed me though. I must look pretty bad if he is setting aside time to seek medical attention for me. I must not be looking as fabulous as I hoped. Since that afternoon, I have made a lot of effort to eat regular meals and to go to bed early. I think the effort is starting to pay off too-- even if I am a little behind in work, school, etc.

The great news is that I do not have class again until Wednesday, which means I should be able to get caught up on grading, laundry, and other domestic tasks. I'll finally get that picture in the mail to my sister too, which I promised to do days ago. I should even have a little time to lounge around a bit too.

When I took a break from grading earlier, I sat down to pay bills. I looked at our checkbook. It appears that I wrote a check to pay our credit card bill on the 20th. Crap! Didn't I pay that one online the day after? Further investigation led me to discover that yes, I paid the bill two times. We cannot exactly afford to do that though...This error is just further indication that I need to focus. I need to slow down. I need to pay attention. I need to take care.

Here is to not letting life get out of hand. Here is to having the ability to say no to others on occassion. Here is for being okay with being behind.

Here is to taking time to enjoy one's self...