Duality

My girl K and I discussed our faiths today. It was a pretty heavy, but wonderful conversation. She and I have different life experiences. Consequently, we have varied perspectives of the world and different thoughts regarding religion, heaven, hell, and the Bible.

Regardless of the conversation's content, for me, it was a good exercise. By engaging in the dialogue, I had the opportunity to think about my own beliefs,the reasons for them, and also reflected on how those thoughts may affect my day-to-day existence. Sometimes, I rush through life and do not think about such details. As a part of the human experience and personal growth, it seems that one should give these issues thought more than just on occasion.

The specific details of the conversation are not particularly important. As a matter of fact, I suspect the conversation will continue over the next few days and that its details will morph throughout its duration. Interestingly enough, as K and I spoke, I found that although the discussion sparked many ideas within me, I did not share a majority of them, as I did not think they would fuel further meaningful dialogue. Instead, I found myself playing dual roles.

It seemed that as K made a comment, I would consider it from my perspective and then keep my reaction to myself. Instead, I would verbalize something different. It was not because I did not want to share my ideas with K (as over time, I shared quite a few). Instead, it was more that I felt compelled to question K/challenge her thoughts. I felt the need to push her to justify her comments, to explain her reasoning and to consider other interpretations. At one point, K seemed really engaged in the conversation as was evidenced by her frequent smiles and the excitement in her tone. I suspect that she is not often challenged, as she mostly converses with those with mirrored beliefs. Or, perhaps it is just that she and I discussed items that do not typically come up in conversation, but that she would like to discuss. Either way, I think the conversation was rewarding to each of us.

As I drove home tonight, I thought about my behavior. How often do I do this to people? How often will I debate just for the sheer sport of it? How often do I wish to challenge those around me and to have them challenge me in return? Why? What is the point? As I prepare for a new quarter, I think it is okay that I engage in this practice. It is okay to try to expand not only my own ideas, but also those of others...

I appreciate the duality.