Eggs

J and I have a lot of challenges. Although I knew his occupation would have an impact on our day-to-day lives, I had no idea that it would take over our lives. I did not realize his job would literally permeate every aspect of our existence. Sometimes, we deal with this fact rather well. At other times, it poses huge challenges for us. Recently, it has posed more challenges than not. We are working through those challenges.

As I indicated before, one of my biggest concerns for our future as J’s wife is having children. I really want to eventually have children. I think it would be an incredible experience. I look forward to the teething, the temper tantrums, the sports practices, the parent-teacher conferences and all of the rest. Of course, I realize it will be hard work, but I think it will be worth it. My fear, however, is that J will not be able to participate in this experience to the degree I desire. His schedule is horrible. In any given day, J is only awake about 3 hours before he leaves for work. Three hours of awake time with Daddy would mean 21 hours of awake time with Mommy. Yes, I am not considering the fact that the child might sleep for a few minutes here or there. Instead, I only perseverate on the 7:1 Mommy to Daddy hour ratio that I see. It freaks me out.

Despite my panic and uncertainty, I still want children. Each month, I think, “This is it. I am going to be pregnant this month”. With a few exceptions, I am not. Lately, I have been giving J a hard time about this. He insists it is not his fault. I am certainly not willing to take the blame either.

As much as we would like to have a child, there will be no temperature taking or calling anyone home from work to get things done. That just is not our style. If it happens, it happens. If not, perhaps K will have children one day and I can be an awesome aunt.

When I was 22, I joined a team of young women who worked for an incredible man. The man was single, which was puzzling to all of us. He was (and still is) incredible. He would make an excellent husband and an incredible father. One of the older women whom also worked in the building made everyone else’s business hers – including this man’s. For whatever reason (I would suspect a personality disorder of some type), this woman approached one of my co-workers and told her that she should start dating our boss. The older woman did not seem to think that fact that my co-worker was engaged to be married was a big deal. My co-worker indicated that the whole suggestion was inappropriate and basically indicated the old bitty should get out of her face. The older woman went on to explain her comment. She indicated something to the effect of our boss would be an incredible father and needed to be with a woman whom could give him children. She added that most women his age would have ‘old eggs’ (which is crap), thus making it harder to conceive children. In the woman’s mind, my co-worker, being of the ripe age of 23, would have ‘young eggs’ and be a better match. The whole suggestion and line of reasoning was preposterous. We all felt bad for our boss that this woman would be butting into his business and thought she was an idiot. Not only did we each avoid her like the plague, but we also started to refer to the older woman as “OE” (‘Old Eggs’).

As J and I discussed the fact that we are once again not pregnant, I told him it was his fault (and yes, I was kidding – we were playing). He said, “Um, no. I am not the issue, you are. I have gotten you pregnant before. You’re the one that doesn’t cooperate”. I asked if J was suggesting I am somehow defective. He responded, “No, you have ‘SE’”. I asked him what the heck that meant.

He said, “You have stubborn eggs””. :)