Feedback

I tend to notice silly things about my students. I become familiar with their expressions. I notice their shoes. I take note regarding how well-rested they appear. Of course, I do not notice everything, but I am often amazed by that which I do.

There is a particular man in my class whom acts differently than he did only a matter of weeks ago. He does not smile as easily. He does not attend class as regularly. He appears a bit cranky. Last Tuesday (as I mentioned before), my students had a significant paper due. This man failed to turn it in. When he came to class this week, I confronted him (in a very kind way). He offered no excuses and had little concern with the fact that he may not pass the class.

His response was a bit odd. First, he is a very intelligent man. This type of behavior, in my opinion, seems uncharacteristic of him and a bit silly. It also strikes me as lazy. With that said, I understand that students have lives outside of class. I get that assignments slip their minds. I realize that they sometimes have more pressing issues than their academic obligations. However, at the end of our brief discussion, my gut told me there was more to the situation. I decided to follow my gut and to push. I asked my student if there was something bothering him. He confirmed that there was. I asked if it was personal or course-related. After some hesitation, he remarked that it had to do with the course.

I encouraged him to tell me the issue, as the only way I can improve the course is to know its deficiencies. The student told me that he does not feel he is learning as much as he should. He feels that I allow students to talk too much in class discussions and that a majority of the material we cover seems to be definitional in nature. He is also disappointed that we only seem to scrape the surface of most topics and do not penetrate much beyond that.

I thanked my student for his input. I respect his opinion and appreciate that he shared it with me. As he walked away, however, I found that I was hurt. My world seemed to crash down just a little bit. I want my students to like my course. I want them to feel that they are getting their money's worth. It is my hope that they learn and have the desire to come to class. It is my intention to make class both stimulating and fun. For my class to lack in any of these areas, in my view, makes it disappointing.

I thought a lot about the student's feedback. I found that I was beating myself up. I felt inadequate - like I somehow failed my students. Over the last couple of years, I have had students who have loved me and others whom have not. In fact, I currently have several students that I happen to know are quite fond of me. The thing is that although I have many students who seem to like my teaching style, it bothers me that one does not. I know, this is absurd.

I have noticed over the years that despite receiving a lot of great feedback in the different aspects of my life, the bad stuff is easier to believe. I am not sure if this is just a reflection of human nature, or if this is indicative of a lower than normal self-esteem. The fact is that this man, this student of mine, shared an opinion in a very respectful manner that was less than glowing and it hurt my feelings. I should not care that much. I should not be that affected.

Regardless of what any of my students may or may not think, I do not know that I will change. The thing is that I want my classroom to be a space where new ideas are explored and discussions take place. I am not sure that I am interested in limiting this process even if it does not mesh with each student's style. Furthermore, I am not sure that I can do much about the content of the course. Of course, in the ideal world, I would provide students with as much information as possible. The fact is, however, that we have 10 weeks to cover 15 chapters. I must present the information rapidly and maintain a steady space. Furthermore, I think it is the nature of an introductory course to briefly survey a variety of topics and to be bombarded with facts, terms, people, and dates. If I could think of a different way to provide my students with the knowledge they need for future courses in the absence of these things, I think I would.

With all of that said, I am unsure if my student is dissatisfied with my style of teaching or if he is simply unhappy with the nature of the course. I suspect he was too knowledgeable about the field to benefit much from an introductory course and is simply bored. His dissatisfaction may persist given any instructor. I hope that I am correct. I hope that I am able to forget this less-than-perfect feedback and let things go. I hope I am able to believe in myself....

I hope that I am a good teacher.