Refocused

Clearly I have a lot going on in my head right now. Hell, I have a lot going on in my life. I try as best as I can to hold everything together. I try not to let anyone down. I do my best to stay composed and add joy to others' lives. Due to the fact that I am only human, I sometimes fail.

Tonight I became frustrated with one of my friends. I think, as usual, I misunderstood something and had my feelings hurt. Perhaps if I were a little less stressed and more well-rested, I would have been okay. But I wasn't. The fact is that right now I am leaning on others a bit more than normal. I am looking for support and when it is not where I expect to find it, I probably do not adapt as well as I should. I recognize that this is my issue though and know that I can not make it that of others.

I become frustrated when I see people hurting themselves. It does not make sense to me -- especially when I perceive that I am giving them the support and tools they need not to do the same. Again, this is my issue and no one else's. I think that one of my greatest gifts and greatest curses in life is that I care. Sometimes I wish that I did not care so much though. Life might be a little easier.

As I spoke to one of my friends on the way to class tonight, he refocused me. He reminded me that not everything has to be figured out today. He pointed out some of the flaws in my thought processes and really took the time to validate what I said and then to point out why I might have been having such a difficult time figuring things out.

I appreciate that he took the time to talk with me.

I appreciate that he did not simply agree with what I said.

I appreciate that he presented other possible perspectives and solutions.

I appreciate that he seemed to care.

I appreciate that, because of him, I am a bit refocused.