Silence

There are some days that I crave the quiet. I wish to have just a few moments to myself in which I may sit in silence. I think many people experience this feeling. I would imagine that stay-at-home mothers become thankful for nap time. Teachers probably appreciate recess time. Receptionists may value time when the phone is silent. The list goes on and on....

Although I appreciate the silence, there are times that it (the quiet) becomes too loud as well. Without the chaos of the outside world, I sometimes become overly consumed by my own thoughts. I think about conversations that I have recently had or want to have. I think about their contents, their purposes, and their outcomes. I also ponder happenings in my life and the world in general. I list the things I need to do and plan on how to accomplish them. I often find that my actions never live up to my intentions, which is frustrating. In times of silence, I reflect on those incongruities and beat myself up for them.

I find in times of prolonged silence, I also become uncomfortable. It is not that I cannot sit and read a book in a quiet room or anything like that. In fact, I think times of reflection are imperative to allow one's mind (and soul) to grow. However, if I start to think too much, I become overwhelmed. I literally can drive myself to a point where I simply shut down. I am able to do no more. I am unable to process anything further. It is at these times that I flip on the television or radio and become involved in someone else's life (whether it be real or fictional). I distract myself from my own mind with the outside world.

It seems to me that silence can be either a curse or a blessing. The trick, in my opinion, is to find a balance. It is important to keep to one's self. It is equally as important, however, to share yourself with others...