Gumballs

The other day, my friend made an interesting statement to me. She commented on my "gumball perspective" of the world....Her observation caught me off guard and continues to occupy a very distant corner of my mind. Gumball, really? Wouldn't that make me bubbly, excited, and irritatingly positive? My friend explained that from her point-of-view, I seem positive--very positive. I seem like a cheerful person who tends to focus on the good things in the world, sees the positive side of things and keeps a decent attitude.

Of all of the descriptions I can think of for myself, positive (unfortunately) is not one of them. Bubbly doesn't really come to mind either. From my point-of-view, I seem jaded, cranky and a bit a naive. As a matter of fact, my negative perception of the world often troubles me. I wish that I were more positive. I work to smile more. I make an effort to try to think about things from a better frame of mind. I try not to be so tired.

I wonder if my friend is just silly and unobservant. Perhaps she only sees what she wants to see. Or, perhaps I am a great actor and have more people fooled as well. Perhaps I am not as bad as I think. If, however, I am, in fact, more of a negative person than I am positive and my gumball friend knew that, would she still like hanging out with me? Would she reconsider our friendship?

I suppose I am who I am. Although I do aspire to be a better person in life, chances are that at my core things will not change too much. Whether I have a gumball perspective or otherwise, I do think that I am a good person. I think that I care about the world and work to make it a better place. I suppose it does not matter what others' perceptions are of me...however, it nice to think that others enjoy me...