Sleep

I often have trouble sleeping. I think that tonight may be one of those nights-- we'll see. You see, I have no trouble falling asleep. It is a cinch. It is the staying asleep that I struggle with. I find my mind occupied with different things. I process the contents of my day. It is not a weird compulsion where I rehearse the events of the day to myself or worry about all that I should accomplish the next day. It is more of this tendency to replay conversations over in my head. I talk to a lot of people each day: friends, family, clients, students, and co-workers alike. They tell me things--things I don't need to know and aren't necessarily any of my business. Stuff that, in all reality, I am not particularly concerned about.

I am not sure why people feel the need to tell me things, but they do. I am fascinated by others and their thought processes so I enjoy the conversations. Most of the time, I forget these snip-its of information, but sometimes I do not. For example, I have a friend whom is in a relationship that he knows he shouldn't be in. The relationship is seemingly over--but there is a history and he is afraid. He came to me to bounce ideas off of me. Now that I rethink our conversation, I wonder: Is he looking for permission to walk away or for encouragement to stay in?... I have a friend whom is having a baby and doesn't seem particularly thrilled? Why not? What is it that she needs?...I have a student whom needs to be in counseling. She has talked with me about this several times. I have given her solid advice regarding how to seek out the help that she obviously needs. Yet, she continues to talk to me. Why? What is it that she is looking for? Does she need courage to go? Does she want me to tell her that things will be okay? What does she need?...

Regardless of why people talk with me and what they need, I do find that I have a talent of sorts to not particularly care. I find that no matter what a person tells me, I challenge them. Not because I disagree with their thought processes necessarily, but because I am not convinced they've thought things through...I feel like sometimes people, including myself, need to be pushed. As I lay awake at night, I wonder...Did I push the right way? Did so-and-so get what they needed out of our interaction?

I hope that people continue to dialogue with me. I hope that all parties involved continue to have their needs met. I hope we all continue to challenge each other...Afterall, I think that it is possible that too much sleep may be overrated.