Cheese

Since Tadpole joined our household, I fear the quality of our conversations has gone down. Here, I'll give you and example: The Cheese

Context: Tadpole's class learned about farm animals. One of the songs they learned was 'Farmer in the Dell". Trying to be a decent Mama, I thought I'd engage in some of his curriculum at home, too.

Me: Tadpole -- let's sing. The farmer in the dell. The farmer in the dell. Heigh-ho,the derry-o, the farmer in the dell. Wait...I can't remember the words. J, what comes next?

J: What are you talking about? I have no idea what that song is. I think you're making it up.

Me: What? How do you not know the Farmer in the Dell? Wait. He takes a wife. Then, there is something about the cheese.

J: The cheese?

Me: Yeah, the cheese.

J: You've got to be kidding me. The cheese?

Me: Yeah. You know. The cheese stands alone!

J: The cheese stands alone? The farmer takes a wife and the cheese stands alone? That doesn't even make sense? What are you teaching [Tadpole]?

Me: I'm going to google this. This is ridiculous.

[Googles and feels triumphant]

Me: Okay. The farmer takes a wife, the wife takes a child, the child takes a dog, the dog takes a cat, the cat takes a mouse, the mouse takes a cheese, and the cheese stands alone. [I then sing it. Tadpole is ecstatic by the song)

J: This song is ridiculous.

Me: Whatever. It is a classic. You're just mad you don't know it. You could learn it, you know.

J: No. Thanks.

Me: Whatever. We're still going to sing it.

[Song starts over]

J:Wait. Why does the cheese have to stand alone?

Me: I don't know. That is how the song goes.

J: Well, it doesn't seem fair.

Me: Well, somebody has to stand alone.

J: But why the cheese?

Me: Because it is the cheese.

J: Why does it have to stop with the cheese? Can't the cheese take some microbes?