Attachment

Each quarter I have a few students that become more attached to me than others. Similarly, there are a select few students that I tend to observe a little more closely than the rest, to nurture their learning processes a little more throuroghly, and whom I am a little more invested. I do not plan for this to happen. It just seems that students have different needs. Some need me to teach them about the course materials. Some are looking for me to teach them something about life. In many instances, I rise to the occassion. Sometimes I do not.

One of my students from last quarter is with J tonight. This particular student did not exactly excel in my course -- not for lack of effort or interest, but more because the material was complicated for him to comprehend. Some concepts just did not click to the degree I hoped. I am not sure if this was due to my deficiencies as an instructor or due to other factors. The student caught my eye though because he was not a slacker. As a matter of fact, I noted his smile to be genuine and his desire to succeed to be true. He expressed interest in J's job. I believe he can succeed in that field, as his mode of problem-solving and other thinking patterns seem well-suited for that line of work. In an effort to help facilitate some learning, to help increase the man's self-esteem, and to simply bring him joy, I asked J to let him shadow him. J graciously agreed. Tonight, J will show him the ropes of his profession. Perhaps although I may not have facilitated this student's mastery of psychology, maybe I still helped foster his dreams. It is possible that being in my class will have an impact on his life afterall. Perhaps this man was simply one of my pupils because he needed someone to believe in him. Maybe I filled this role for him.

Another student, who happened to be in my class about a year ago, e-mailed me earlier this week. This student, at first glance, can look intimidiating. He is covered in tattoos and has numerous piercings. He tends to wear black and is rather quiet. This student, however, as I recall, has a beautiful smile that comes easily and will light up a room. This student, like the first, also did not earn a great grade in my course. In fact, his attendance was often sporadic and he seemed to be preoccuppied by forces outside of academia. Despite not being the perfect student,I always enjoyed having him in my class, but felt bad, as I thought I did not quite reach him. I felt I did motivate him properly, did not teach him all he could learn, etc.

To my surprise, the purpose of the second student's e-mail was to warn me that he will be joining me again next quarter. No need to warn me though -- I am thrilled. He continued in his e-mail to tell me that based on my class, he decided to pursue a degree in psychology. He wants to be just like me. He wants to work with the chronically mentally ill. He wants to be able to help psychotic people whom are down on their luck. He wants to know the joy of working in the psych unit and wants to have the skills to engage in accurate assessments, treatment planning and crisis intervention.

Although I am excited to have the student returning to my class and may even be a bit flattered that he wants to be like me in some way, I feel a responsbility to tell him 'no'. How do I encourage a student to work hard so that he can be just like me when I am not sure that this is a position that even I want to be in? How do I tell him that once he earns his degree, although it is respectable enough, he may still struggle to pay his bills? How do I tell him that a Bachelor's in the field will not be enough? How do I tell him that his plan, at least as it stands, is not particularly viable? Should I?

I often struggle with my roles in life. Although I am not foolish enough to think I know all, I do know that I know some. I want to protect those I care about, but sometimes do not know where to draw the line. Certainly mistakes I made may be successes to others. Perhaps this student will earn the degree and then take another path. Or, perhaps he'll even take the same path, but view from a better perspective.

I am happy to foster people's dreams. In many ways, I happy to even inspire them. I just hope that I complete both of these tasks well.

I hope that people are looking to me for the right reasons...I hope their attachments are healthy.